Top Six Most Bizarre Intellectual Property Prosecutors Complaints about Clients, Inventors and Vendors
April 18, 2009
“Dog Ate My Drawings”, to “Really It Can Fit In That Body Orifice”
Sugar Land, TX - From complaints about dangerous patent prototypes to uninvited meeting guests and missed docketing dates, has heard it all! From our clients, inventors, patent prosecutors, patent agents, researchers, patent illustrators and our sales professional, we have heard some unusual complaints. While many patent prosecutors work on the cutting edge of science, design and technology every day, there are many that encounter the more bizarre side of the patent and trademark prosecution world. We are sharing some of the more bizarre stories that we have heard over the last year. (Note: We have not disclosed the names of our complainers for some very obvious reasons below.)
One of our newest clients, a young patent prosecutor, from Orange County, California reports that his newest vendors had a habit of making excuses of why he was late in getting patent illustrations back in time. “The straw that broke the camel’s back was when he told me that his dog ate our inventor’s drawings and he was calling to see if we had any extra copies that he could borrow,” the Patent Prosecutor said. Needless to say, that patent illustrator is no longer providing any special services for this boutique Orange County law firm
1. “The Dog Ate My Drawings"
One of our newest clients, a young patent prosecutor, from Orange County, California reports that his newest vendors had a habit of making excuses of why he was late in getting patent illustrations back in time. “The straw that broke the camel’s back was when he told me that his dog ate our inventor’s drawings and he was calling to see if we had any extra copies that he could borrow,” the Patent Prosecutor said. Needless to say, that patent illustrator is no longer providing any special services for this boutique Orange County law firm.
2. “You Invited Who?”
During a recent national intellectual property association’s annual meeting in Washington DC, a female patent prosecutor from Texas decided to meet up face to face with an inventor client. She had only dealt with the inventor telephonically and thought its always better to have the personal touch. She reports that the inventor decided to invite a beggar to the lunch as he did not have spare change to hand out at the metro stop. “The restaurant staff was a bit puzzled at our little gathering. I think I am done handling individual inventors for a while.” The patent prosecutor stated that the venue was located next to a metro station which seemed to experience an influx of beggars and vagrants. These beggars sometimes stood at the entrance to their hotel according to the patent prosecutors. “The drifter helped himself to the buffet, approached some of my fellow conference attendees for money, and tried to steal the silverware.” She wholeheartedly still recommends meeting clients but advices that you at least set some expectations who will be attending prior to the meeting.
3. He thought it was a bran muffin…
A Chicago trademark prosecutor reports being extremely unhappy about the breakfast selection of his pro-bono client. This non-profit has been his firm’s pro-bono client for a number of years. During a recent breakfast to honor the pro-bono work, our busy trademark prosecutor arrived to find that there were only some pastries and coffee for breakfast. “I had asked the non-profit for some healthy food for breakfast and all they served were muffins”, said the upset Trademark Prosecutor. “I thought it was a bran muffin when I picked it up, but it ended up being some type of apple muffin.”
He stated that he was “quite disappointed” about the muffin, and felt as though he was being purposely deceived by the non-profit’s staff. He told our patent illustrator that while he admires the work of the non-profit, he will not be donating his time for trademark filing work to this non-profit anytime in the future.
4. Sticky and Itchy Devices
We all know car sales have fallen significantly in the past year and patent filings are not too far. A recent conversation with a patent prosecutor who specializes in working with automobile manufacturers had us smiling the rest of the day. Sensing the slow down, this enterprising patent prosecutor has reached out to the manufacturers of adult entertainment toys all over the country. “Some of my best and newest clients cater to our adult inhibitions,” said the anal-retentive prosecutor. He explains that instead of examining cam-shafts and brake pads, he spends his days reviewing the latest latex offerings of fiber glass… well you know shafts! “Its incredible the science and ingenuity that has gone into these devices,” exclaims the excited prosecutor. While he swears that he is not a user of any of these devices, he does admit to occasionally asking for feedback strictly “for professional reasons” of his female better half.
“I have no complaints about my newest clients but I prefer not to talk about them in professional and personal settings,” said the prosecutor with a smile on his face.
5. Doc
One Eastern University’s School of Medicine held their annual conference at an upscale waterfront hotel. The coordinator for the event told 247 Patent researchers that they had a nautical theme throughout the convention, and the dinner consisted of a variety of seafood. “There was a big problem with the main fish entrée – two people got tiny fish bones stuck in their gums, one attendant got a bone stuck in the roof of their mouth, and three people had some stuck in their throats!” The conference attendants had to be rushed to the emergency room, but no one sustained serious injuries.
6. The Cookie Monster
After their annual Theater School seminar in Los Angeles, the event planner recounted a terrible cookie problem that plagued their meetings. “There were over 200 students that attended the event,” the meeting planner recalls. “There were major issues with the catered platter “the cookie monster,” which was a misleading deal by the catering staff. I paid $5.19 for each cookie platter and coffee, and there were only a few cookies on each platter and this put a tremendous amount of pressure on me because I had to keep ordering more cookies while conducting my program. I felt as though I could have been offered more of a variety and larger sum of cookies for the price I paid.” The event planner told the researcher she will never go to that location again due to the stressful cookie situation. The researcher also indicated several complaints from this meeting planner about an excessive amount of fingerprints on the elevator.
247 Patent Launches New User-Friendly Website
April 2, 2009
247 Patent, a major intellectual property services provider has added another feather to its cap after six years of service to local law firms and inventors. 247 Patent launched www.247patent.com, its first foray into the online world.
Speaking about the development, Ben Frank, President said, “We hope to become the industry’s best web portal We have added security and integration of our prior art search services to enable inventors and law firms to easily submit and track projects. This new website will help us maintain our edge over our competitors.”
"This innovative approach will simplify the way we help our clients, while ensuring a better end-product,” he added.
The website was developed after feedback from its long term clients, patent illustrators and designers. The website’s several key features include:
Ease of Submission: The website is designed for how law firms and intellectual property prosecutors work. “We want this to be easy to use and navigate We have simplified and requested simple as well as complicated information,” said Frank
Security: The website provides up-to-date security features along with increased idle time out limit of one hour. In addition to this, all activities by authenticated users is logged and audited.
Integration of Prior Art Services: With the integration of prior art services, patent attorneys and inventors can now see both Prior Art and Patent Illustration projects under one central list. This is in line with the company’s continuous efforts to provide clients with the highest level of customer satisfaction.
Accounting and Billing: Clients will now be able to pay with their credit cards at the time they are placing their order. They will receive an email invoice automatically. This simplified billing process will enable patent lawyers and inventors to focus on what they care about the most – patent applications and getting them done correctly.
Further, the new billing structure allows the law firm to track and bill revision time in minutes so clients only pay for exact amount of time spent on each project.
Centralized Project Access: Coming shortly, individual clients will be able to view and share project and invoicing details belonging to colleagues from different branches. 247Patent.com will also put into place an easy to use central managing system to make it easier for attorneys to access-related projects with ease.
Other features like click confirmations and due date based project planner, have established 247 Patent as a leader in the patent illustration and prior art search services industry.